Well, well, well. After 2012 Academy Awards producer Brett Ratner quit, in the wake of a spectacularly lewd interview with Howard Stern, the host left too. Eddie Murphy, the surprising but fairly interesting choice to host the newest Oscars, has departed, leaving a big Norbit-shaped void at the podium.
So the question now is: who should host the 2012 Oscars? Let’s look at some contenders.
– Ricky Gervais. The hilarious Englishman who brought us The Office unleashed a withering volley of celebrity-mockery when he hosted the Golden Globes. The result: angry movie stars and a delighted public. Maybe this time he’d do a little poll revealing that, of all the major film actors working today, only Wilford Brimley is a member of the 99%.
– Joan Rivers. You know you would watch.
– Will Arnett and Alec Baldwin engaging in an all-night-long Deep, Gravely Voice Competition.
– The Muppets. There’s already a thousands-strong Twitter campaign in favor of a Muppets-hosted Oscars, and to be honest, it sounds awesome. But I have a few concerns/demands, to wit: (a) a Muppets Oscars had better not be as lame and “family-friendly” as the new movie promises to be (now, the older Muppets material? That stuff was genius!); (b) less of Kermit and Miss Piggy and more of Fozzie Bear, Statler & Waldorf, Beaker, that dude with no eyes, and the supporting cast; (c) all the really boring awards get announced by the Swedish Chef.
– Neil Patrick Harris. Okay, this time I’m serious. Neil Patrick Harris is a consummate performer, gifted with comic timing up to his ears. Plus, he could sing and dance in a few Broadway-style comedy numbers (since he’s got a great voice to boot, a voice he showed off when hosting the Tony awards [can he bring the dancing nuns??]). Neil Patrick Harris is the kind of performer you could see pulling off a Bob Hope-style run of years and years successfully hosting the Oscars: he’s got the experience, he radiates good humor and cheeriness, he has more charms than a Harry Potter book, he sort of oozes likability the way some politicians ooze toxic sludge, and–let’s be honest: nothing suits him like a suit.
Yes: ultimately I’m going to be voting for Neil Patrick Harris. Meanwhile, here are the five people LEAST likely to be hosting the 2012 Academy Awards:
– That guy who interviewed LeBron James for The Decision.
– Herman Cain.
– Piers Morgan.
– James Franco and Anne Hathaway.