Something which causes no end of confusion to simple men like me is shampoo. I know how to use it. I know what it does. But then I go to the store and am confronted with an entire shelf of things that look like this:
Recently I discovered something even more distressing: hair care products whose names are written entirely in Chinese. Things like (and I’m only making up the spelling), “Nourishing Xian Shui Lotion.” I’m not even entirely sure you are supposed to put it in your hair. Folks, this is baffling.
Luckily, help is on the horizon. I have begun design work for a new line of hair care products called Simple Man’s Hair. It’s designed for guys like me. The bottle labels will be simple, effective, and informative. They will contain exactly the amount of information necessary to guarantee a sale to a man. If I saw any of these products, I would buy them and be thankful somebody had finally bothered to explain all this stuff in terms I could understand. For example:
And the luxury end of the Simple Man’s product line:
I would like to apologize for the blatant sexism in this post. But, believe it or not, labels like this actually would help me. At least toothpaste still says “tooth” on it. Why don’t hair care products even reassure you that they indeed are for your hair? Gosh. Life is rough for an uncultured bumpkin like me.